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All of the Disney Princesses, Ranked





um, no.

ohdearlordalmighty no. No. Dishonor, dishonor on this WHOLE ARTICLE. WAIT NO TAKE A NOTE OF THIS.

This whole list is bullshit. Please for the love of god someone tell me this is a joke. Because this fucking list completely shits on all of these amazing women. This fucking list is just one example of the hate ignorant assholes spread on a daily basis when the word Disney is even breathed. This fucking list is the fuel people used to bully me for years. This fucking list isn’t even worth my time and energy of ranting, but I am so pissed off I’m going to address it anyway.

Snow White was only 14 when the movie started. She was abused and forced into basically slavery by her psychotic stepmother. Later her stepmother ordered a huntsman to cut her heart out, solely because Snow White was the fairest of them all. Yet even though she was forced out of her home and on her own with a wicked witch trying to murder her, she was still kind, polite, and generous to everyone, always trying to see the best in them. I would also like to point out Snow White was never canonically married. She was saved by a man whom she had met before and fell in love with and friends that she cared for and showed kindness to. Snow White is a badass bitch, not a #basicbitch.

Sleeping Beauty. Yes, she was asleep for part of the movie. She was cursed it was a major plot point and it wasn’t half of the film. What really pisses me off about their reasoning for this ranking is they completely objectify her. “She might actually be the prettiest of all the princesses…pretty, but so, so boring.” Yes, Aurora is beautiful. But did this article mention how Aurora was told that the first 16 years of her life were a lie? That she had to not only never see a man she cared about ever again but she was being taken away from the women who raised her and loved her, the only family she has ever known, to live her life in an arranged marriage? No. It also doesn’t mention that despite the fact she was devastated by these events, she did it because her family asked her to, because it was what she had to do. Aurora is an amazing, strong woman. Don’t even.

Anna Yes, Anna got engaged to a man she just met. But she spent her whole life thinking her sister didn’t love her, wandering alone through the halls of their castle with no one really to talk to but her parents. Then her parents die and she is completely alone. So when Hans asked for her hand, she thought that someone was finally choosing her. She was blinded by pain and false hope. Yes, Hans is an asshole, but Anna learned from that experience, learned what love was and that she truly wasn’t alone. PLUS she spent the majority of the movie fighting to save her sister, the same sister that pushed her away most of her life. Anna is perfect stop it now.

Rapunzel Hold the fuck up Rapunzel wasn’t rescued by Flynn. She wanted to go fulfill her dream but realized she didn’t know much about the world. So she made a business deal with Flynn to escort her to the lanterns and then bring her home. Her idea. She was in charge of her own destiny. She later stands up to her abuser, someone who mentally fucked her over for her entire life. When Flynn is dying, she tries to save him, agreeing to go with Mother Gothel if she is allowed to heal him. Rapunzel isn’t naive. Yes she doesn’t know much about the world but she learns quickly and is strong enough to take care of herself.

Pocahontas Okay yes her movie is historically inaccurate but let us look at just the movie, shall we? The only positive thing they had to say about her in this article was that her friends were cool. Pocahontas saved an innocent man and stopped a huge battle between her people and the British. She could have stepped aside, let it happen, picked a side. But no. She had the courage to stand up to hundreds of people and tell them that they were wrong.

Mulan selflessly risked her own life, broke the law, and entered into a war to protect her elderly father. Not only does she succeed in saving him, but also in defeating Shan Yu and saving all of China. Nuff said.

Merida Yeah Merida is awesome for “not subscribing to gender norms”, but that totally ignores the major character development both she and her mom go through. They both learn to see each others sides and respect each others choices. By the end of the film, she is willing to go through with tradition, though her mother lets her follow her heart and control her own fate. Her understanding and growth breaks her mom’s curse.

Cinderella bitch PLEASE CINDERELLA DIDN’T ASK FOR A MAN. Cinderella lost both of her parents and was forced, like Snow White, into slavery by her wicked Stepmother. Though even though she was tormented and abused, she never stopped dreaming of freedom, worked incredibly hard, and was always kind to others, whether it was mice or her stepfamily. When the ball came about, all she wanted was to go, have a night where she could just be a nineteen year old woman and have fun. She worked hard and did everything her Stepmother told her she had to do to go to the ball, when her stepsisters literally ripped her to shreds. That was the last straw, and she broke down under the weight of years of Hell. Her fairy godmother saw her hard work and kind heart and helped her go to the ball, where she fell in love. It happens. To degrade this amazing woman to a girl who was “absolutely princematized” (essentially calling her boy crazy and saying all she wanted was a man) is horrifyingly ignorant.

Tiana is amazing because, like Cinderella, she is a hard worker with a dream and the determination to get there. Also like Cinderella, she finds love on the way. The amazing thing about Tiana’s story is that she learns that, yes you need more than dreaming and wishing, but it should be coupled with hard work and determination. She also learned to open her heart up to love, learned that sometimes you don’t get what you want, but you should appreciate having what you need, for example love and support. Also, they criticize Cinderella for being man crazy, where technically we don’t know how much time elapsed before she married the prince (could be months or even years), whereas Tiana is actually the only princess to marry a man she only knew for a few days. 

Jasmine The only positive thing this article says about Jasmine is that she has a pet tiger. It mentions nothing about her desire to choose her own destiny, her decision to seize it by running away from comfort to a life of poverty. When she meets Prince Ali, she pushes him away, calling him out on his bullshit and only letting him in when he shows that he respects her wishes. She fought hard and changed the laws of her kingdom, able to marry the man she chose.

Elsa is indeed a badass, but this article ignores the fact that Elsa hasn’t touched or spoken really to anyone since she was a little girl. Elsa’s an amazing character and is relatable because of the struggle we see her go through. She saw her powers as a curse, for years she had difficulty accepting herself. For years she was afraid of herself or getting close to anyone for fear of hurting them like she did Anna. Then her worst nightmare is realized: her sister is dead because of something she did. But she soon sees that her sister sacrificed herself to save her. Finally, she realizes she is loved. 

Ariel The article didn’t actually diss Ariel much until the end. I would argue that Ariel’s decision to trade her voice for legs stemmed not only from desire to achieve her dreams, but also the fact that she just watched her father hotheadedly destroy the things she loved the most and basically reject her feelings and dreams. She was emotional and when people are emotional they don’t think clearly. Therefore she was more easily manipulated by Ursula. The main thing that pissed me off is the fact the article says her main attribute is that she had the best songs. Not cool man.

Belle Are you saying the other princesses can’t read? Belle’s my favorite princess I agree she’s amazing but I am pretty sure I saw a number of the other princesses reading. Also, Belle’s amazing not only because she’s incredibly relatable (the fact that she’s a cartoon doesn’t matter she’s relatable regardless E!online), or the fact she wants more than her small town and sexist suitor, but the fact she gave up her life and dreams to save her father. Belle also doesn’t judge the Beast by his fur or claws, but gets to know him and sees the kind, wonderful man below the surface. The whole message of her movie is that you should never judge a book by its cover. Clearly whoever wrote this article didn’t watch this movie (or really any of them) because all the did was judge these fantastic women and role models by their surface. 

In closing, this article is ignorant, rude, judgmental, in no way clever, and basically degrades amazing movies and characters down to looks and other superficial attributes. The author should do their fucking research before writing an article like this. Sadly, he is not the only one. I’ve heard this reasoning from dozens of other assholes who only see the gender and sparkle of these complex stories and people. Next time someone tries to say a single word against a company that I have grown up with and that has shaped my whole life, there will be hell to pay.

DisneyGirlDreams out.

eonline and Cosmo just need to stay away from the Disney fandom.


I thought this was all one post and I just

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